Sometimes discussing our children's adoption is complicated, Emily Alewine explains.

Talking about adoption with a child, family members or friends can be filled with joy and excitement as well as frustration and anxiety. Adoptive parents in particular face this challenge constantly, knowing that their child(ren) need and deserve knowledge regarding how their family came to be, while also encountering questions and comments from friends and family that may be supportive or frustrating. Questions about "what to tell, how to tell, and to whom” are common for parents. With all these questions in mind, one may wonder where or how to begin. Read more about talking to your child and others about adoption.

SIGN UP NOW! On March 27, 6:30-8 p.m. Maxine Walton, MA, LICSW; Jennifer Lavigne, LSW; and Peg Studaker, BSW, all of CHSFS, will present "Talking about the Tough Stuff." To register, please call Anne Matzke at 651-255-2432 or REGISTER ONLINE. $20/person CHSFS, 1605 Eustis St., St. Paul, MN 55108

"Talking about the Tough Stuff" will also be offered as a webinar for remote clients!
Please contact Anne Matzke by phone at 651-255- 2432 or e-mail amatzke@chsfs.org if you are interested in the webinar.
Space is limited, on a first-come, first-serve basis and only to remote clients (clients not living in the Twin Cities or surrounding areas).
What is a webinar?

How you would complete the statement, "Transracial parenting is _____________"? Parenting a child who has been adopted transracially simply adds another layer of complexity.

Join us on Saturday, March 10th from 9am to 3pm for a workshop to help you and your family understand and prepare for the realities of transracial adoption. We will help you put the pieces of race, stereotypes, prejudices, discriminations and cultures.

CHSFS Birthland Services asks, “When will your family be returning to Colombia?”

Informational Meeting! April 21, 10 a.m.- 12

Learn more about our Tour Colombia! 2007 including an expanded travel itinerary and support resources,

NEW ADDITION!

Orphan Train the Musical
Shipped to the Midwest from New York City slums, over 200,000 children were adopted. From 1854 to 1929, children were placed on the trains with a change of clothes and a Bible. Thus began their journey to find a family. The largest migration of children in history is filled with stories of tragedy and great triumph!

CHSFS has partnered with the History Theatre for this musical about the largest migration of children in US history. Families who are interested in going can request the group ticket rate for CHSFS families. For more information, go to: http://www.historytheatre.com/orphan_train.asp

If you have a question related to you or your child's adoption, please e-mail aroeglin@chsfs.org. Please note that we cannot respond to all e-mails, but stay tuned to upcoming issues of this newsletter to see if your question is answered. Thank you!

Dear PAS: What do I do when my child doesn’t want to talk about adoption? He will even go so far as to change the subject at times. -Adoptive Parent

Dear Adoptive Parent: A parent’s first thought might be that their child isn’t interested in hearing about adoption. A more likely reason for a child’s silence or avoidance might be fear of the unknown, fear of their parent’s reaction or just a lack of comfort with the subject of adoption.
Talking about adoption, their story, is important for children. If you can’t remember , then it’s been too long! For the reasons mentioned above and for many other reasons, children won’t necessarily bring up the subject for the reasons listed above or for other reasons. That doesn’t mean that the subject should be ignored.
Children of different ages have different kinds of thoughts about adoption, themselves and their parents. It is important to become familiar with where your child is at developmentally so you can understand what kinds of thoughts and feelings they might be having about their adoption story.
Parents can have conversations about adoption- related topics in the newspaper and on TV, they can read books to their children and make adoption related books available for older kids to pick up and peek at. A child’s lifebook, made accessible, allows them to independently look at and talk about adoption when they feel the need. As a parent ask open-ended questions beginning with What, When, How etc., instead of "Why" or "Do you." By bringing up the topic of adoption, you begin to show your child that you can be comfortable with the subject, that talking about your child’s adoption story won’t make you sad or fearful or angry. Your child may begin to follow your lead and wonder along with you! -Alene Roeglin, MSW, LGSW

Books for Younger Children

• A Mother for Choco-Keiko Kasza
• Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born-Jamie Lee Curtis
• Over the Moon-Karen Katz
• The Day We Met You-Phoebe Koehler
• How I Was Adopted-Joanna Cole
• Borya and the Burps-Joan McNamara

Books for Older Children

• Why Was I Adopted?-Carole Livingston
• Mulberry Bird-Anne Braff
• We See the Moon-Carrie Kitze
• When You Were Born in Korea-Brian Boyd
• When You Were Born In China-Sara Boyd
• When You Were Born in Vietnam-Therese Bartlett
• Zachary’s New Home-Blomquist
• Finding the Right Spot-Janice Levy
• Rain Forest Girl: More Than an Adoption Story- Chalise Miner

Books for Pre-Teens/Teens

• All about Adoption: How To Deal with the Questions of Your Past–Anne Lanchon
• Adopted Teens Only: A Survival Guide to Adolescence–Danea Gorbett
• Where Are My Birth Parents?: A Guide for Teenage Adoptees -Karen Gravelle & Susan Fischer
• Who Am I? And Other Questions of Adopted Kids - Charlene C. Giannetti

Books for Adults

• Adoption Stories for Young Children-Randall Hicks
• Cross-Cultural Adoption: How To Answer Questions from Family, Friends and Community-Amy Coughlin
• When Friends Ask about Adoption: Question and Answer Guide for Non-Adoptive Parents and Other Caring Adults-Linda Bothun
• Dialogues about Adoption: Conversations between Parents and Their Children-Linda Bothun
• Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past- Betsy Keefer & Jayne E. Schooler