This is the time to read, think, explore and ask questions. Read books about adoption and/or search the Web. A good place to start is www.adopting.org. If you know parents who are adopting or have adopted, talk with them about their experiences. What kind of questions did they have at the beginning of the process? What did they wish they had known then that they know now?

You will also want to spend some time asking yourself questions such as: What country am I interested in? Am I open to gender, or do I have a specific gender in mind? How much money am I able to spend? Am I willing to travel abroad to get my child? What is the oldest age I am willing to accept in an adopted child? What kind of support will I need during my adoption? What kind of support will I need afterwards? Am I willing to be a pioneer, or would I like a process that is somewhat more predictable? How long am I willing to wait for a child referral?

2. Shop around.

There are many adoption agencies in the United States. Many agencies now have web sites describing their programs, but you can also use the yellow pages or talk with friends and neighbors who have adopted internationally for suggestions about international agencies. Gather as many names as you can at this time. Besides understanding the program options and services the agency can provide you, be certain the agency is licensed in your state of residence and that it is currently covered by liability insurance. You can narrow down your choices as you have details you need to make informed decisions.

3. Familiarize yourself with the general adoption process.

All international adoptions require at a minimum an adoption study written by a licensed social worker, paperwork and fees submitted to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (US-CIS, formerly the INS), and substantial personal paperwork, such as a dossier and/or application. A better idea of this process enables you to ask informed questions later on when you are querying potential adoption agencies.

4. What do you want to know about the agency?

Develop a list of questions to ask potential agencies. Parents who have adopted internationally may be able to provide you with things they "wish they had known" prior to their adoption, or other useful questions. Some of the questions you might consider are:

- How long has your agency been working in international adoption and/or a specific country? How many children have they placed from the country you are interested in?

- What kind of preparation and education is offered to adoptive parents? How is it delivered (small group? large group? face to face? individual readings)?

- Which countries are open to my situation? (For example, some countries have very specific requirements regarding length of marriage, age of parents, number of children already in the family, etc.) May I choose the gender of my child?

- What are the current waiting times for a child referral, for travel?

- What kind of difficulties have you encountered in the past with international adoptions from a specific country?

- What kind of communication will I receive from your agency? May I call to check in, or do you send updates or initiate the calls? Are you available by e-mail? How will I be notified if something goes wrong?

- What are my options if something goes wrong? Will I be able to transfer to another program? Will I lose my money? What is the grievance process?

- What are the total fees for an international adoption? Is there a cost sheet that the agency can send you outlining costs and when they are due? How are the fees broken down? What are the costs that are not outlined in your information?

- Why are children relinquished for adoption in specific countries? How are children cared for in specific countries? Do children live in orphanages or foster care? How many children reside in the orphanage? How many caregivers are responsible for each child? What is the condition of the orphanage?

- What is the general health and development of children from a specific country?

- Is travel required? What kind of preparation does the agency provide prior to travel? Will I be escorted during my time abroad, or will I be on my own? How long should I expect to be abroad?

- Does your agency provide any humanitarian aid to the orphanage or the country?

- Do you have a reference list or parents who are willing to speak with me about their experiences in this program?

Remember, your family’s adoption experience goes far beyond the day your child arrives in your home. Some questions you may want to consider are:

- What kind of post placement services will your agency provide? Will your agency help with required post placement paperwork?

- Does the agency offer other post placement support services such as counseling or longer-term adjustment follow up?

- Do they have a list of other area adoption resources (family groups? counseling? language specialists)?

- What fees are associated with post placement services?

5. Once you have gathered a list of potential agencies, call or write for their information.

At some point, it’s probably wise to speak with someone directly to get a feel for the agency. Are they professional? Is the agency licensed to provide adoption services in your state of residence? Does the agency carry liability insurance? Is their information timely and complete? Are they willing to answer all of your questions? Remember that you will be working together on a very important endeavor—the adoption of your child. Make sure you choose an agency with which you feel completely comfortable.

6. Read the agency’s information carefully.

Are their fees stated clearly? What kind of timing is predicted for your adoption? Is there information not listed that you would like to know?

7. If the agency offers a reference list, ask those references about their experiences in adopting a child.

Another good source of information is internet listservs. Many parents who have adopted or are adopting from a specific country have created listservs in which members from around the world share their experiences about adopting. This can be a good way to learn, compare and sort out the information you receive from adoption agencies. (But, be aware of that some participants have particular biases that are reflected in what they write.) To join a listserv, go to www.egroups.com and search for "adoption."

8. If the agency offers the moon, be wary. If they promise timelines or fees that appear way out of line with other agencies, ask why, and make sure you are okay with their answers.

International adoption can be unpredictable and the health of any child cannot be guaranteed. If the agency guarantees a healthy child or describes an adoption that seems too good to be true, it probably is.

9. After all of your research, a few agencies should stand out. Call each agency and ask the questions you have prepared.

Check with at least two of each agency’s references and ask about their experiences with this international program. Trust your instincts and choose the agency that best suits the needs of you and your family.