The crispy breeze on the morning of April 20th said it all.  Our six long years of wait is almost over. The exhilarating joy, thrilling emotions and overwhelming anxiety about the first meeting with our son. Our days are about to change. We said bye to our bunny, fishes and plants, loaded our car with warm Krispy Crèmes to say bye and share our joy with our colleagues. Our hearts were heavy with gratification and unfulfilled emotions of being parents.

We reached India on the 22^nd and went to see our son on the same day. We just couldn’t wait one more minute to see our son. We reached SKB around 2:00PM. It was naptime for the kids. All the kids were sleeping peacefully. We were given a tour of the facility and were lucky enough to meet and greet all the little ones there.

We met our son in the last room. He was sleeping on his tummy. We waited for an hour near his crib for him to wake up. When he woke up, he gave us the most beautiful smile in the world. (He still gives us the brightest smile when he wakes up in the morning to make our day). We felt as if he knew us for ages.

After an emotional ceremony, we were to bring him home. On the way home, he sat in our lap like a wet cat on a rainy day. His wheezing provided us the initial rhythms of our lives together. Nature was shedding joyous tears in the background, giving a warm welcome home for Akhil with the typical Kerala summer rain. He seems to be a little bit uncomfortable sleeping in the cradle position in the car, but once grandma sang a beautiful song in Raag Neelambari (meant for lullabies), he slept peacefully in our arms. We first went to mom’s home where grandpa was to celebrate his 60^th birthday in two days. Grandpa got the best birthday present ever for his 60^th birthday. (It was grandpa who encouraged us all these years for bringing Akhil (a child) home. Also grandpa went and wished grandson Happy Birthday on his first birthday, which went without much fanfare.) Akhil was welcomed with traditional Arti by his grandparents, great uncle, uncles, aunt and cousin. He was little bit confused seeing so many people and being the center of attention in his mid-night sleep. The most surprising fact was that throughout the evening, he did not cry even a bit. We were expecting and were prepared for a huge breakdown. To quote our family friend Yuheng "It is not a surprise that Akhil came to you without any problem. Child always knows parents. It is fate."

The next two days was partying time as well as medicine time. He already had severe chest congestion and wheezing when we picked him up. We had the first appointment with the pediatrician; she gave antibiotics and other medicines and that did the trick - he bounced back in a day. He had fun with his uncles, aunts and cousins, but he made sure mom was with him all the time. He understood the second day who mom and dad were.

After the party, it was formality time in Delhi. The I600 processing, doctor’s visits as well as visa processing went without any problems. After getting the visa, it was vacation/family time in Agra, Mathura (Birth place of Lord Krishna – who was born to a mom and raised by another mom) and Goa. He was a trooper despite his cold and upset stomach. He could survive the heat and humidity whereas we were so tired by the end of the day.  Akhil loved the beaches in Goa and that is the only place he let his guard down. Water is his huge weakness. He would chase the waves into the ocean and this was the first day he let go any little inhibitions and become very comfortable around us. He danced with mom during the short cruise we took there.He is such a friendly guy that he played with all the kids in the tour bus in Goa. At the end of the day all the kids lined up to say bye to him.

There were a few testing moments also. He is a stubborn guy. He was not eating anything, we had to feed him with a strict regimen a few times. On his first few days, he was not showing any emotions if we showed him something; for instance, he would not know what an elephant is or what a cat is, whereas kids of his age will get excited when they see an elephant. That’s when we realized that he has not seen anything in the world and we as parents have to explain and show excitement for him to get excited. After one month, he is much better, (Joke of the day – I have showed him where his nose is, where mom’s nose is, where his doggy’s nose is etc…Yesterday we were in the store showing him something and I told my husband, you don’t have to explain, he knows – suddenly he was pointing to his nose.)

It was time to go to dad’s home and meet grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. He was thrilled to see the spacious home with so many things to mess with. Our house is the meeting place of all the kids in the neighborhood especially during the summer vacation. So there was a battalion of kids in the house all the time. He thoroughly enjoyed the attention from elders and playing with the kids. His grandpa arranged for his first birthday celebrations on his monthly birthday. He liked the religious functions and during annaprashan when Punditji gave kheer (pudding) in his mouth, he spit it to his face (up untiil now he liked only salty, spicy food. The sweet stuff comes back from his mouth faster that it goes in). We visited a few temples including the family deity temple. He fell down and cut his lips for the first time in the family deity temple like an offering to God. He found friends there too and had a terrific time playing in the mandaps of the temple. He learned lots of lessons during these three weeks: he learned how to do good morning, namaste (traditional greeting), namaskar (greeting elders and god), to show appreciation and thanks for the gifts and food he receives, watch and appreciate the moon and stars at night, how different animals make noises, kisses in the cheeks for parents (only) and flying kisses for others.

He is a stubborn little boy and he wants things when/how/where he wants. There was an incident in the Goa airport where he was picking things from the garbage. We strictly said it is a “No No” and it is bad. He just would not listen and threw tantrums by lying in the airport, rolling and crying. He wouldn't let us pick him up also. So one gentleman came to us and said, it is sad that you are disciplining your kid in a hard way. (This is what we learn in the books and in classes, once the kid gets comfortable, he is trying to test you to figure out where you draw the lines and how far he can go before hitting your buttons. He still tests us and knows both of us. He knew what he can do with me and what he can do with my husband in about three weeks. Now he says “No No No” before he attempts to do mischievous things and does it.) 

Now it was time for dad to get back to work. He felt sad when dad left and was searching for him for a day or so and was saying/ showing the actions dad taught him. The next two weeks were the bonding time with mom and family. The first two days after dad left, he wanted to go out and was clinging to me all the time (maybe he felt insecure or was missing his dad really badly). After two days he was falling into a routine for food (still very fussy about), sleep, evening walks, visit to the temple etc…He started playing more with his cousin (one month older than him), learned to share and trade toys (not really!!!). After one week of honeymooning with his cousin, Akhil started to fight with him for toys, they both started to imitate how the other one cried, started competition to get grandma’s attention (he stills runs around the house here and looks for grandma). The day we boarded the plane to US, he was thrilled to make the journey but as soon as be boarded the plane to Bombay, he started missing his cousin and grandma. In Bombay, we spent the day with my aunt and his other cousin, whom he met for five days during our stay in my house. He remembered seeing her in the first glance and started playing with her without any hesitation. After our memorable five weeks in India, we came back to the US. Our immigration went well and the rest of the paperwork to follow.  During immigration, we met another family who was bringing their son home from Delhi. He is one month younger than Akhil and Akhil was friendly with him (Aniket) and his mom and even shared his gold fish crackers with him.

It is one week today that we came home. He is a bundle of energy and joy and keeps both of us occupied. Life has changed us forever and we feel blessed to have him with us.

Akhil and mom share lots of traits together, don’t know how God made this match. We both love music and he wants to listen to classical music every  morning. Mom is a dancer and son has started dancing to rhythmic music. We went for a live classical dance performance in India and that is the only place he sat without any disturbance. Mom and son are light sleepers and get up early in the morning. Both are sensitive to temperature differences and get allergies really fast. Both have sensitive stomach and love spicy/crunchy food. Both of us are indoor persons, love to read/play with books (We had tough time making him stand in our lawn and in the sand pit in the park.), both of us dislike watching TV, movies, both of us like evening walks . . . more to be discovered.

We have some work to do on his eating habits, he is so playful that he forgets to eat.  I have to chase him round the house to feed him. Each session of feeding takes around 1-1 ½ hours. I don’t know how I can leave him with a baby sitter when I return to work. Akhil is a very sensitive boy. He feels very sad when we say “No”. That word is just not in his dictionary. He feels upset and beats you when he feels sad and his wants are not satisfied. “Time in,” turning face away, making sad/ angry faces are some things that I have tried and have not worked.

Together we are exploring this wonderful journey of family.

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