By Jane Masterman

On the other side of the world, our baby waits for us, though she doesn’t realize it. She’s the subject of our late night talks, our sweetest dreams, and our hopes of the future . . .

And then the call came!  Our daughter’s picture slowly opens on our computer.  “Look at the hair! Our angel baby!” Then the hard part of the wait hits, the wait for travel. I’m surprised we actually did it. We’ve never really traveled, except the occasional jaunt to Vegas and a few driving trips to Canada. But we went to China!

I’d been looking at the trip with a mix of dread and anticipation. As our referral drew nearer, I frantically read books about China and studied my phrase lists (Wo Ai Ni!) in hopes that I could tell our daughter how much I already loved her, even before we met. I searched the internet for packing lists. I joined the APC, a yahoo internet board for adoptive parents of Chinese children and watched for rumors and travel tips.

When our travel dates were finally decided, we discovered that we needed to be in China before we could attend a travel meeting. I was thinking, “I’d never flown internationally, my husband hates flying in general, and now we’re going to miss the travel meeting!” But, all my worry was pointless. I may not have known what I was doing, but Children’s Home Society and Family Services did! They gave us a list of the other families in our group and we arranged a meeting to break the ice.

David Pan and all of the folks at CHSFS guided us through the process, gave packing tips and handled all the arrangements, except for the flights, which we booked through Lotus Travel. When the day finally came to travel, we had two checked bags and a carry on each. Not too bad we thought, but in retrospect we were way over packed. We were able to buy everything that we needed in China.  The only things we never found were Baby Benadryl and Cheerios. (Bring both!) The stores in all three cities carried a small selection of American snacks and sodas, but we were glad we had brought granola bars for quick breakfasts; the laundries were fast and cheap, although the ones in the hotels were much more expensive. Next time, I’d bring just enough clothes to get us to Guangzhou and wash every thing there at one of the stores near the hotel. I also wouldn’t bring much in the way of baby clothes, since Emily was wearing a bigger size than we expected and it’s so much fun to shop for kids’ clothes in China. Simply point to the outfit you want, then to the baby. The clerk will look at the baby and hand you the right size.

The flight was long. Really long, but we spent the time talking about our baby, wondering how she’d react to us – two funny looking strangers who couldn’t even speak Chinese!

We had to transfer planes in Japan, and were surprised to be told to board a bus. A BUS??? We can’t drive to China from here! But the bus drove us across the tarmac to our plane for the comparatively quick flight to Beijing, where we met Peter, our guide. Since we had arrived in China earlier than we needed to for the planned tours, Peter took us to the Peace Hotel and said we’d have the next day free.  Luckily, another couple had arrived at the same time, so after sleeping off effects of travel, we met the next morning and tackled Beijing on foot.

Across from the Peace Hotel, at the mall we found a McDonalds and a Starbucks. Well fortified, we decided to walk to the Silk Market. (Tip – don’t do that. It’s really, really a long walk. Take a cab!) We wandered around the shops near the hotel, buying mittens and hats, Beijing is cold in March! We were following a map the desk clerk had given us and generally soaked up China. The people were friendly, and happy to practice their English, which was way better than my stilted Chinese phrase cards! Crossing the streets though was an adventure. We quickly learned to cross when the Chinese do, otherwise we felt like, as my husband put it, bumper bait. Be very careful crossing streets; watch the cars as well as the streetlights.

The Silk Market was an amazing place.  Just go with a sense of humor, and learn, “Ty Guay Lo,” which means, too expensive! Bartering with the sales people got to be an art form, and a bit of a competition between the guys. (“I’ll buy that, but only if you give me a better price than you gave him!”) After finishing shopping, with more silk scarves than one neck needs, we decided to take a cab back to the hotel. (When you leave the hotel, grab a card from the front desk and just hand it to the driver.) While the cab did feel safer than walking, I felt much better with my eyes closed. It’s like participating in a line dance when you don’t know the steps, but your driver does.  So, just go with it. Cabs in China are also very cheap and by taking cabs rather than walking, we had more time for shopping.

The next day, Peter met us in the lobby and the touring began in earnest. Over the next three days, we climbed the Great Wall, which is well, great! We saw the Summer Place, with the Empress’s Marble Boat, Tienamen, the Forbidden City and my favorite place, the Lama Temple. They have a Buddha there 90 feet tall, carved from a single tree. We also made it back to the Silk Market for winter coats, since we had left ours at home and Beijing was cold! Peter was a great guide, with a good mix of knowledge, and humor. He pointed out good deals with the vendors, warned us away from inferior products, taught us about the places we were seeing, and guided us to some of the best meals I’ve ever eaten, always remembering my food allergy. If you have time, be sure to ask Peter to point out the best Beijing duck restaurant in the world.  It’s very near the Peace Hotel and if you can learn culture through dining, this meal should be required eating.

As we were a part of left Beijing, all we could think about was meeting our child, but we knew that we wanted to return to Beijing again to experience more of the fast-paced, rapidly changing China we were beginning to love.

We had over-shopped in Beijing, so now we had three checked bags, and had to pay overweight for our flight to Hefei, but we all successfully navigated the process and we were off to meet our baby! The flight to Hefei seemed a blink of an eye compared to going from Minneapolis to Beijing and our travel group chatted the time away by talking about what was about to happen.

Finally, we’re in the same place as our children! Shirley and Shannon met us in Hefei and took us to the Hefei Holiday Inn. The drive through the city showed us China’s rapidly changing face as we watched the old neighborhoods and sidewalk shops give way to more modern buildings. Hefei also showed us some of the economic pressures on the Chinese people.

The next morning, all nerves, we grabbed our paperwork folder and went downstairs to meet our daughter. The babies were brought in and names were called out. People stepped forward, were given their daughters, and stepped back as parents. In the blink of an eye (after a year or so of waiting!), life changed course, for both the new parents and the babies.

After a bunch of tears and laughter, and a quick nap, we loaded up our new daughters and headed to the store for supplies. Most of the new dad’s carried the babies in baby carriers, or as one Chinese lady said, “American men all have baby belly!” Shirley pointed out the correct formula, snacks the babies might like and even where the diet coke was. (For us caffeine addicts, it’s called Coke Light in China.) The next days were a flurry of paperwork, diapers and bottles as we got to know our kids. I can’t say enough about the people at the Hefei Holiday Inn. One waiter in particular, Erick, was keen on the kids, and had me teach him a new English phrase every time I saw him. And he tried to teach me a Chinese one in return.  But I must admit, Erik was a far better student that I!

There wasn’t much time for touring in Hefei.  However, Shirley did take us to the Hui Gardens for a nice stroll and a chance to watch people flying kites.

At the end of the week, we were off to Guangzhou, saying goodbye to our daughter’s first home, with a promise in our hearts to stay connected to this place and to the people that had cared for our daughter so well in her first months.

In Guangzhou, we stayed at the famous White Swan hotel. People, seriously, they have a waterfall in the lobby! Amazing! Guangzhou seemed like a garden to our Minnesota eyes, the people kept giving us the thumbs up and checking the babies, patting them and in general, treating us like rock stars. If you get the chance in Guangzhou, wander down the street from the hotel to the park and watch the Ti Chi in the mornings. My favorite place in Guangzhou was the Chen Academy. If at all possible, be sure to go there. We also went to a temple and had the babies blessed by a Buddhist monk.  We felt that was a good way to honor our daughter’s heritage, and to reaffirm in our hearts that we would try to keep her connection to China alive in her throughout her life.

We also ate many western style meals at Lucy’s in Guangzhou since dining at the White Swan was a bit spendy. Emily had been fighting a cold since we’d met, so we took her to the doctor at the White Swan. A nice, gentle man who told us she had tonsillitis and gave us the proper medicine. All for a very nominal fee and with no waiting! I love China!  As the medicine kicked it, we began to get more giggles and games from our newly perky baby. It’s amazing how fast she became the center of our universe.

We also did some more shopping, naturally. Be sure to hit the Shop on the Stairs, and Jordan’s Place. If you take the characters for your daughter’s Chinese name to Jordan, he’ll draw it out in calligraphy with the translation. Our most treasured souvenir are the granite etchings we had made of our new daughter.  Be sure to make one for the grandparents, too. We also found dolls in ethnic dress from our daughter’s province at the Shop on the Stairs.  Also look for squeaky shoes, a great way to encourage new walkers.

All too soon, the time came to leave China and our excellent guides, Shirley and Shannon, who had helped us become a family and keep a sense of joy and humor throughout the process. One last adventure, though. We were late leaving the hotel, and then got stuck in traffic. Not to be deterred, the driver jumped the curb and drove up the street the wrong way. We simply closed our eyes and applauded him when we arrived safely.

While we were excited to get home and have Emily meet her extended family, we were still sad to leave. We felt that we had merely touched the surface of China and its people.  We also knew that we would miss our new friends, both the people we met in China and our travel mates and our daughter’s first playmates, her “sisters” in our adoption group.

The flight to Hong Kong was uneventful, but we arrived there completely exhausted. We decided to order room service and hang out in the hotel.  Fair warning – pizza in China is small and has carrots on it. The next morning, the long haul began. Four hours to Japan and then 14 home. Luckily, Emily took to traveling very well and spent the flight playing peek-a-boo with the people seated around us.

Finally, we landed in Minneapolis. A quick wait to get through customs and viola! Emily is a citizen! We loaded up our bags and headed out to introduce Emily to her new grandmas, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We had changed her on the plane into a lavender set of silk pajamas and so she was beautiful. (Her parents on the other hand, had a whole different look going – dark circles under our eyes, crackers ground into our shirts and silly grins.)

I still can’t think of our first day home, the first walk through the doorway, the first rock with her in the rocking chair (Notice I didn’t say the first time watching her sleep in her crib, because that didn’t come for a few weeks!) without tearing up. To think, six months ago today, I met the little girl who would carry around my heart in her smile for the rest of my life.

Parenthood changed us, but so did the trip. Traveling to the other side of the world taught me that the world doesn’t really have sides. It’s all just people.

Learn more about adoption from China